Comforting your crying baby

Why do babies cry?

All babies cry quite a lot and for a variety of reasons. The common reasons why a baby cries vary depending upon the age of the baby. This factsheet will help you to identify the reasons why your baby may be crying and suggest some steps that you can take to help soothe your baby.

Newborn and young babies

Crying is the only means of communication for young babies. Therefore at first your baby will cry for all their needs. These include physical needs such as hunger, tiredness, a wet nappy, being too hot or too cold, or even discomfort from tight clothing. Your baby will also crying because of anxiety or an emotional need such as affection.

Fortunately, babies' cries usually vary with these different needs. Within the first few weeks of life you will become able to recognise your baby's different cries and respond more quickly to their needs. At this stage it is impossible to spoil a baby with attention so if (s)he cries you should pick up your baby for a cuddle and find out what it is (s)he wants. This also reassures your baby that you are there for him or her.

Whilst getting to know your baby's cries will help you narrow down the need, it will often be a matter of trial and error. The first things to try are offering your baby a feed and checking whether (s)he needs a nappy change. Next you might give your baby something to suck, rock or pat or simply talk to your baby. If none of these help then check to see if (s)he is too hot or too cold. Room temperature should be around 20-23oC(68-73oF) and baby's normal body temperature 37oC(98.6oF).

Colic

Crying due to colic is often more high pitched than usual crying. Your baby may also draw up their legs and become red in the face. This crying tends to occur at the same time every day, usually the late afternoon or evening and is not helped by any of the usual remedies. Colic can start as early as three weeks and continue until about twelve to 16 weeks. The cause of colic is unknown. You should try a range of methods to soothe your baby, for example:

• Rocking
• Walking
• Frequent feeding
• Rubbing or massage
• Music
• A change of room or environment
• A drive in the car

It is not advisable to use medicines to give your baby relief without first consulting your GP or health visitor.

Nappy rash

Nappy rash is a skin irritation that occurs on the skin of a baby in the nappy area. Various things can cause the irritation including:

• ammonia, which is found in urine and faeces
• alcohol, which is sometimes used in baby wipes
• a change in diet eg from breast milk to formula
• strong detergents/soap additives, which have been used to clean terry nappies

However, not all nappy conditions are nappy rash. Other conditions that can cause similar symptoms include heat rash, dermatitis (eczema) or thrush.

Symptoms of nappy rash vary from mild sore red spots to cracked or broken skin and even blisters. You may also be able to smell ammonia strongly on the nappy.

Treatment of nappy rash is usually simple, and the problem should clear up after a few days:

• change the nappy as soon as it is wet/dirty
• let your baby play without a nappy as much as possible, so their bottom is exposed to the air
• if you're using a barrier cream, stop using it, it could be causing the rash or preventing the rash from healing
• avoid using plastic pants
• keep your baby's bottom dry, but don't use talcum powder

If the rash lasts longer than three days, gets worse or shows signs of being infected, (inflammation, discharge or your baby develops a fever,) ask your health visitor or GP for advice.

Coping with a crying baby

A new baby that is frequently crying can be very stressful for the parents and carers. It is helpful to try not to become tense, as your baby will sense this and it may make things worse. If possible find someone who can take turns with you soothing the baby. Make sure that you rest when you get the chance. Put on some soothing music that you enjoy. Try to keep things in perspective and not to worry about things that are not getting done such as the laundry or the washing up. Remember that most colic disappears before your baby is three months old and nappy rash is usually easily treated, so relief is in sight.

If you are finding it difficult to cope then talk to your GP or health visitor about getting local support and advice.

Older babies

From the age of about three months, babies become more aware of their surroundings and much more communicative. By now you are likely to be able to recognise your baby's distinctive cries, for instance when (s)he is hungry, tired, or needs changing. However, now your baby will cry from boredom, anxiety, frustration and teething. Whilst identifying the cause of your baby's crying will again require a process of trial and error, the following may be of help:

Boredom - make sure that your baby has a selection of interesting toys within reach. Spend time with your baby just talking or playing or reading from a storybook. Singing and music can also be fun.

Anxiety - your baby may cry if (s)he fears separation from you or in the presence of strangers or if (s)he is in a strange place. Always be supportive and never make fun of your child's fears. Reassure your baby with soothing words in a gentle tone of voice and cuddle him. When you are separated from your baby reassure him or her that you will come back soon. Whenever possible, try to make frequent appearances to reassure your baby that you are nearby.

If you have to be away from him or her for longer periods (for example with a child carer when you return to work) then take time to make sure that your baby is used to the new environment and the new carer. If possible, try to prepare your baby for your being apart by starting with short periods at a time and gradually making them longer. Make sure that you and the carer are patient with your baby's anxiety and don't show any frustration or impatience. If (s)he has a comfort object, such as a toy or blanket, make sure that (s)he has it when you leave.

When you return give your baby extra cuddles and plenty of soothing talk.

Frustration - your baby will cry when they want to do things that they are not yet able to or when they do not get their own way.

Make your home as childproof as possible to allow your baby to explore in safety without you having to fuss around with moving things out of the way.

Try and have a favourite or new toy or game to hand to distract your baby when (s)he becomes frustrated. Offer help when (s)he needs it but don't completely take over - allow your baby to feel a sense of achievement. If your baby simply wants his or her own way it is important to decide for yourself whether the issue is an important one.

A good rule of thumb is only to assert your own will over those things that are really important and not simply because you prefer things a certain way. When you do decide to assert your will then don't change your mind or this will confuse your baby and make him or her less likely to do as you wish next time. Provided the baby is safe then tantrums are best ignored when possible.

Don't shout at your baby and don't punish him or her afterwards. Explain in a reasoned way why (s)he cannot do whatever it is they want to do. Although (s)he will not understand what you say at first, your baby will understand your tone of voice and will learn what you mean.

Teething - when the teeth are coming through the gums become swollen and red. Your baby may also tug on their ear or even develop cold symptoms whilst teething. Your baby may dribble a lot, be irritable, clingy and have trouble sleeping. Medical treatment is not usually necessary. Try giving him or her something to chew on such as a cold carrot or a chilled (not frozen) teething toy. You can also try rubbing your baby's gums with your finger or applying a small amount teething gel.

Illness or infection

Crying accompanying symptoms such as: fever, loss of appetite, vomiting, skin rash, light-phobia, is more likely to be the result of an infection. If your baby has these symptoms or if you think your baby is unwell contact your GP or health visitor as symptoms can progress quickly with small babies.